Ode to "O"

Now that my heart has recovered from skipping so many beats yesterday and my fainting spells and crying from elation are over, I will proceed to mock (er, honor) those who gave speeches and prayers for Obama. So, in honor of President "O", let me begin my "speech" (performed as if I were an idiot hippie pot smoking Liberal) to the people of this nation (I am talking in breathless tones, in a most erudite fashion):

From Hippie supporter number 1 (as written by me, based on speeches from the Inauguration):

"Today is a day of hope for the future of this country. When we travel down the dirt and gravel roads, as if like the rare yellow striped salamander frolicking by roses, we remember the Indians and the Eskimos, who, due to poverty and oppression are doomed to live in ice huts which are melting because of global warming (cough, as I am getting a cold from the freezing weather). And the teacher tells her students to pick up their pencils...begin. The truck driver, the mail carrier, the government worker all have hope for a new future, like the Emu that roams through the vast wilderness of human indignity and suffering. The teacher once again tells her students to put down their pencils...end. So, from Gaya the goddess of the earth, to Amun the god of the sun, the Mohammed and to the spiritual beings/deities that we hail (but not the Christian God), may we be blessed with rose pedals and falling leaves as if in a poem by Walt Whitman. We are all striving to be on the same course, animals, nature and humans, all in one global community, all united by President Obama. So, in conclusion, let me leave you with this thought: education is like an iceberg and our kids like the Polar bears. My the good fortune of a new day be upon all of us who live in this global community. Thank you!

From a pastor at the ceremony:

"We all join together on this momentous day. As African Americans are still suffering the indignities of slavery, as the Asians are seeking recovery from our wars, as the native Americans suffer in silence, we offer this prayer to you oh God. Black is not wack! Brown ain't down! Yellow is mellow! White is a'ite. Red ain't dead! Yes, oh Heavenly Father, we thank you for this joyous time. Amen.

From Jesse Jackson: "Obama ain't got his mama, for tonight we fight the right on this site. Moreova and here-to-for, our Black President is now the resident of the White House. President Obama is truly a magic Negro, this I testify and preachify, as I glorify. Peace.

By the way, if anyone understand these speeches, you truly belonged at the Inauguration yesterday.