Thank you House Republicans! Way to all vote NO to this ridiculous "stimulus" bill. Obama is truly becoming a radical leftist and we needed you to be strong! Finally, you all did great!
Stand strong Senate Repubs. Our country needs you!
In an effort to be fair, I also want to thank the Democrats that voted against this travesty...most noticeably our congressman, Jim Cooper! Thanks Jim!
Finally... a new age has dawned for the GOP. We appointed our first black president of the Republican Party. Michael Steele, from Maryland, is our new head! I hope he does a great job! Congrats Michael!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
On a happier note:
The Messiah drew a very good 38 million viewers for his inauguration. However, American idol drew more that evening!
Oh, and by the way, Ronaldus Magnus drew 47 million in his first inauguration! Go Ronnie!
The score:
Reagan - 1
Messiah - O
Oh, and by the way, Ronaldus Magnus drew 47 million in his first inauguration! Go Ronnie!
The score:
Reagan - 1
Messiah - O
Obama's presidency - Day 1 (and more random ruminations...for Liberals, look up the word rumination...aka, since you aren't taught this in public schools, use a dictionary!)
1. Obama: Liberals, I want to personally thank you. You asked us to give Uncle O a chance...he would be a moderate. Well, his first executive order was to close Guantanamo and not use tough tactics against terrorists! This is sheer idiocy! He has proven to be as radical he said he would be!
2. Obama's Press Secretary: When asked what would happen to the terrorists who are released, O's press Secretary said something to the effect of "uh, duh, hmm, gurgle, blink, scratch head, ugh, ugh, duh...I don't know really". Same thing was said for no longer using "harsh" techniques such as waterboarding (oh, boo hoo) as means to get answers. When a Fox news reporter asked why they wouldn't use this against the terrorists who mastermined 9-11, his answer was once again "gurgle, ugh, duh, eye-roll, head scratch, duh, um".
**These guys are releasing terrorists back to the front lines to kill more Americans! Weren't 3000 dead on 9/11 enough?!
3. O's Cabinet: AG - Evaded taxes (now he is sorry for his mistake), Sec. State (Hillary), Gov. Richardson - Resigned post due to scandal...so far, so good guys!
4. Caroline Kennedy: Presumed Dem. front runner for Hillary's seat...resigned suddenly and without warning. Why? Tax reasons!
5. Spending: Uncle O is planning on spending more in 2 months, than Congress usually spends in a year! It would be more efficient if the government would just pay every worker $41,000 per year...that would be cheaper than his trillion dollar bailout plan!
1. Obama: Liberals, I want to personally thank you. You asked us to give Uncle O a chance...he would be a moderate. Well, his first executive order was to close Guantanamo and not use tough tactics against terrorists! This is sheer idiocy! He has proven to be as radical he said he would be!
2. Obama's Press Secretary: When asked what would happen to the terrorists who are released, O's press Secretary said something to the effect of "uh, duh, hmm, gurgle, blink, scratch head, ugh, ugh, duh...I don't know really". Same thing was said for no longer using "harsh" techniques such as waterboarding (oh, boo hoo) as means to get answers. When a Fox news reporter asked why they wouldn't use this against the terrorists who mastermined 9-11, his answer was once again "gurgle, ugh, duh, eye-roll, head scratch, duh, um".
**These guys are releasing terrorists back to the front lines to kill more Americans! Weren't 3000 dead on 9/11 enough?!
3. O's Cabinet: AG - Evaded taxes (now he is sorry for his mistake), Sec. State (Hillary), Gov. Richardson - Resigned post due to scandal...so far, so good guys!
4. Caroline Kennedy: Presumed Dem. front runner for Hillary's seat...resigned suddenly and without warning. Why? Tax reasons!
5. Spending: Uncle O is planning on spending more in 2 months, than Congress usually spends in a year! It would be more efficient if the government would just pay every worker $41,000 per year...that would be cheaper than his trillion dollar bailout plan!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Ode to "O"
Now that my heart has recovered from skipping so many beats yesterday and my fainting spells and crying from elation are over, I will proceed to mock (er, honor) those who gave speeches and prayers for Obama. So, in honor of President "O", let me begin my "speech" (performed as if I were an idiot hippie pot smoking Liberal) to the people of this nation (I am talking in breathless tones, in a most erudite fashion):
From Hippie supporter number 1 (as written by me, based on speeches from the Inauguration):
"Today is a day of hope for the future of this country. When we travel down the dirt and gravel roads, as if like the rare yellow striped salamander frolicking by roses, we remember the Indians and the Eskimos, who, due to poverty and oppression are doomed to live in ice huts which are melting because of global warming (cough, as I am getting a cold from the freezing weather). And the teacher tells her students to pick up their pencils...begin. The truck driver, the mail carrier, the government worker all have hope for a new future, like the Emu that roams through the vast wilderness of human indignity and suffering. The teacher once again tells her students to put down their pencils...end. So, from Gaya the goddess of the earth, to Amun the god of the sun, the Mohammed and to the spiritual beings/deities that we hail (but not the Christian God), may we be blessed with rose pedals and falling leaves as if in a poem by Walt Whitman. We are all striving to be on the same course, animals, nature and humans, all in one global community, all united by President Obama. So, in conclusion, let me leave you with this thought: education is like an iceberg and our kids like the Polar bears. My the good fortune of a new day be upon all of us who live in this global community. Thank you!
From a pastor at the ceremony:
"We all join together on this momentous day. As African Americans are still suffering the indignities of slavery, as the Asians are seeking recovery from our wars, as the native Americans suffer in silence, we offer this prayer to you oh God. Black is not wack! Brown ain't down! Yellow is mellow! White is a'ite. Red ain't dead! Yes, oh Heavenly Father, we thank you for this joyous time. Amen.
From Jesse Jackson: "Obama ain't got his mama, for tonight we fight the right on this site. Moreova and here-to-for, our Black President is now the resident of the White House. President Obama is truly a magic Negro, this I testify and preachify, as I glorify. Peace.
By the way, if anyone understand these speeches, you truly belonged at the Inauguration yesterday.
From Hippie supporter number 1 (as written by me, based on speeches from the Inauguration):
"Today is a day of hope for the future of this country. When we travel down the dirt and gravel roads, as if like the rare yellow striped salamander frolicking by roses, we remember the Indians and the Eskimos, who, due to poverty and oppression are doomed to live in ice huts which are melting because of global warming (cough, as I am getting a cold from the freezing weather). And the teacher tells her students to pick up their pencils...begin. The truck driver, the mail carrier, the government worker all have hope for a new future, like the Emu that roams through the vast wilderness of human indignity and suffering. The teacher once again tells her students to put down their pencils...end. So, from Gaya the goddess of the earth, to Amun the god of the sun, the Mohammed and to the spiritual beings/deities that we hail (but not the Christian God), may we be blessed with rose pedals and falling leaves as if in a poem by Walt Whitman. We are all striving to be on the same course, animals, nature and humans, all in one global community, all united by President Obama. So, in conclusion, let me leave you with this thought: education is like an iceberg and our kids like the Polar bears. My the good fortune of a new day be upon all of us who live in this global community. Thank you!
From a pastor at the ceremony:
"We all join together on this momentous day. As African Americans are still suffering the indignities of slavery, as the Asians are seeking recovery from our wars, as the native Americans suffer in silence, we offer this prayer to you oh God. Black is not wack! Brown ain't down! Yellow is mellow! White is a'ite. Red ain't dead! Yes, oh Heavenly Father, we thank you for this joyous time. Amen.
From Jesse Jackson: "Obama ain't got his mama, for tonight we fight the right on this site. Moreova and here-to-for, our Black President is now the resident of the White House. President Obama is truly a magic Negro, this I testify and preachify, as I glorify. Peace.
By the way, if anyone understand these speeches, you truly belonged at the Inauguration yesterday.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The Messiah
10 Ways Obama and Jesus are alike...(brilliant if I must say so myself):
1. Jesus Christ and Barack Obama have the same amount of letters (11) in their names!
2. One came from a poor background, the other did too!
3. Both men offered messages of hope and salvation!
4. Both men had people faint and cry when they spoke!
5. Both men had parents who were born in the Middle East (of course, both of their birth certificates say they are Middle Eastern too!)
6. Jesus was loved and adored by the Jewish people...Barack, no difference
7. The Bible is missing several years of Jesus' life (of which we know little)...the media covered up much of Baracks life (of which we know little)
8. Jesus promised to feed the masses (and he did it), Barack promised the same thing (and healthcare for all, education for all, etc...)
9. Both men talked about the poor...but only one man, Jesus, did something to help them
10. One man rode an ass into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, the other is surrounded by ASSES in Washington (or you could also say that Barack rode an ASS, aka the Democratic Party, to victory)
Finally...
Jesus's most powerful follower was a woman, Baracks most powerful is also a woman (also, one woman was claimed to be a prostitute, the other had a husband who loved prostitutes!)
1. Jesus Christ and Barack Obama have the same amount of letters (11) in their names!
2. One came from a poor background, the other did too!
3. Both men offered messages of hope and salvation!
4. Both men had people faint and cry when they spoke!
5. Both men had parents who were born in the Middle East (of course, both of their birth certificates say they are Middle Eastern too!)
6. Jesus was loved and adored by the Jewish people...Barack, no difference
7. The Bible is missing several years of Jesus' life (of which we know little)...the media covered up much of Baracks life (of which we know little)
8. Jesus promised to feed the masses (and he did it), Barack promised the same thing (and healthcare for all, education for all, etc...)
9. Both men talked about the poor...but only one man, Jesus, did something to help them
10. One man rode an ass into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, the other is surrounded by ASSES in Washington (or you could also say that Barack rode an ASS, aka the Democratic Party, to victory)
Finally...
Jesus's most powerful follower was a woman, Baracks most powerful is also a woman (also, one woman was claimed to be a prostitute, the other had a husband who loved prostitutes!)
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Dedicated to Liberals - My first post
This is dedicated to all of you who consider yourselves to be Liberals (I will type slowly so that all of you will be able to understand what I am saying):
1. I AM NOT, nor will I be, POLITICALLY CORRECT! If this offends you, then that is good. If it makes you cry, I would not be surprised nor am I sympathetic in the least. These are my posts and I speak the truth...DEAL WITH IT!
2. I form my opinions based on thought and reason, NOT on emotion. If something feels good that is fine, but it is the tough decisions that keep our country safe and successful...not a bleeding heart!
3. The "Me" hippie generation almost destroyed this country and my generation is left to clean up YOUR mess. Thanks for "making love, not war" while passing on huge debt to us...I appreciate it.
4. Our Country, whether you like it or not, was founded on Christian principles. I believe in God, the majority of our country believes in God...if this offends you, you can talk to the big guy IF you get to the pearly gates. the First Amendment gives us the Freedom OF religion, NOT freedom FROM religion.
5. Welfare DOESN'T work, our public schools stink, illegal immigration is wrong, punishing our enemies is good and tax cuts work!
6. Letting Americans own guns in order to defend themselves and their families is a good thing...it is also called the 2nd Amendment of our Constitution!
7. The government is TOO big! Big government is ruining our country! We MUST cut our govt bureaucracy or we will be in big trouble. If you want anything done right, DON'T let the government try to do it!
8. Most politicians stink! Many Republicans are weak-kneed, thin skinned sissies who have sacrificed their values once they have power. Democrats, on the other hand, are Socialists who are bent on the destruction of this country. The love Socialism, Marxism and think that government is the solution to every problem. We need CHANGE! We need people to uphold the Constitution...we need another Founding Father, another Lincoln or Reagan.
9. ENGLISH is the language of this country. The STARS and STRIPES is our flag. If you can't bother to speak the language, and if you would prefer to fly the Mexican flag or another flag before our own, then I will buy you a one way ticket out of this country!
10. Finally, America is truly the greatest nation in the history of mankind. Yes, we have made mistakes, but we are still "A Shining City Upon a Hill" or, as Lincoln put it, "the Last great hope for mankind". If France, Europe or the UN doesn't like us...I REALLY Don't care! I know many Liberals hate what America stands for and I know most would rather have a Marxist society rather than a Representative Republic...but, for me and millions of other people, I LOVE FREEDOM and I LOVE AMERICA!
God Bless America!
1. I AM NOT, nor will I be, POLITICALLY CORRECT! If this offends you, then that is good. If it makes you cry, I would not be surprised nor am I sympathetic in the least. These are my posts and I speak the truth...DEAL WITH IT!
2. I form my opinions based on thought and reason, NOT on emotion. If something feels good that is fine, but it is the tough decisions that keep our country safe and successful...not a bleeding heart!
3. The "Me" hippie generation almost destroyed this country and my generation is left to clean up YOUR mess. Thanks for "making love, not war" while passing on huge debt to us...I appreciate it.
4. Our Country, whether you like it or not, was founded on Christian principles. I believe in God, the majority of our country believes in God...if this offends you, you can talk to the big guy IF you get to the pearly gates. the First Amendment gives us the Freedom OF religion, NOT freedom FROM religion.
5. Welfare DOESN'T work, our public schools stink, illegal immigration is wrong, punishing our enemies is good and tax cuts work!
6. Letting Americans own guns in order to defend themselves and their families is a good thing...it is also called the 2nd Amendment of our Constitution!
7. The government is TOO big! Big government is ruining our country! We MUST cut our govt bureaucracy or we will be in big trouble. If you want anything done right, DON'T let the government try to do it!
8. Most politicians stink! Many Republicans are weak-kneed, thin skinned sissies who have sacrificed their values once they have power. Democrats, on the other hand, are Socialists who are bent on the destruction of this country. The love Socialism, Marxism and think that government is the solution to every problem. We need CHANGE! We need people to uphold the Constitution...we need another Founding Father, another Lincoln or Reagan.
9. ENGLISH is the language of this country. The STARS and STRIPES is our flag. If you can't bother to speak the language, and if you would prefer to fly the Mexican flag or another flag before our own, then I will buy you a one way ticket out of this country!
10. Finally, America is truly the greatest nation in the history of mankind. Yes, we have made mistakes, but we are still "A Shining City Upon a Hill" or, as Lincoln put it, "the Last great hope for mankind". If France, Europe or the UN doesn't like us...I REALLY Don't care! I know many Liberals hate what America stands for and I know most would rather have a Marxist society rather than a Representative Republic...but, for me and millions of other people, I LOVE FREEDOM and I LOVE AMERICA!
God Bless America!
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